Kates Friends part 7

Oh it’s hot, just so hot! Who’s that? There’s someone there, Who’s there?

Kate flung back the covers and sat up, fists at the ready. She looked about for the intruder she felt was there but could see no one and although her lamp didn’t give much light it did illuminate the whole room well enough to see. There was no one. She was breathing hard and drenched in sweat. Her nightdress clung to her making her cold now that she wasn’t covered by the duvet. She dragged it up over her head and flung it onto the pile of clothes by the wardrobe and lay back down. She was too tired to get up and find another. She lay still staring at the ceiling and listening to the world outside, the cars going past, the birds singing, the building creaking, there was nothing there but the normal sounds of the night yet she was scared; scared that there was someone out there. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. The flat was secure and there was no one inside it, everything was fine and scared though she was her body was too tired to resist and she was soon asleep.

At seven the alarm rang and rang as she slept on. At eight she stirred and reached out to turn it off and still leaden she pulled herself into a sitting position, dropped her legs over the edge of the bed and then rolled forward and put her head in her hands. Her eyes felt bruised and puffy and refused to open more than a slit as she forced herself to look at the time. Oh it was too early; in fact it was always too early, every morning it felt like she had a hangover. She got up slowly and put on her running gear, put her nightdress in the wash bin and then got herself breakfast. She stared out of the window at the clouds and left it on the counter. Okay time for a run.

Yesterdays run had been mercifully short however she needed a longer one today to keep up with her schedule. The pavements were littered with children and adults alike and made the going slow and painful not least because she was continually changing pace, no one ever got out of the way. As she followed the ins and outs of the estate it got easier however she could see trouble ahead. Well not really trouble but there was a group of lads on the pavement ahead and they didn’t seem to be moving. To start with there’d only been two standing chatting and looking up and down the street and then another two had come out and joined them and now another one had joined them. They were just teens probably on their way to college but they were blocking the path completely. There was just something about them, their baggy jeans hanging half off their bums, their old battered looking jackets and beat up trainers or boots and them carrying bulky rucksacks and it was just a little bit strange to see them watching up and down the street but the really eye catching thing was the two lads who’d come out who’d then taken off the bright blue gloves they’d been wearing and then handed them to the last one who put them into his bag. It was just plain odd to watch. She slowed down and although she couldn’t cross the road she did move out into the road to get by them. They didn’t seem too bothered and when she looked back from the junction they had started walking in the other direction. Oh well not much further to go and then a shower and breakfast.

“Arrrr.” The water felt good on her skin, just the right amount of heat and pressure to sooth her tired muscles. She leaned against the wall and let the water pound into her back, but she would have to get out soon. In fact she’d better get out right now or Rani would be here and she wouldn’t be dressed. As she was coming back through to the lounge there was a knock on the door.

She opened the door and saw Ranis’ concerned face.

“Hello, what happened?”

“Hi there, I was burgled.” She moved back to allow her to enter.

“Oh dear and your neighbour?” She pointed over her shoulder. “When did it happen?”

She motioned her towards the lounge. “Oh only a few days ago. They didn’t get much, most of my stuff is fine and even the stuff they did take the police have gotten back. My neighbour wasn’t so lucky. It’s no big deal.”

Rani turned around to face her and looked her over. “No big deal. Your place was broken into that’s huge.”

She shrugged.

Rani shook her head and then sat down on the sofa. “Ummm...” She looked around the tiny tidy lounge and then got up. “You’ve tidied up.” She walked to the bedroom door and looked in. “So how are you feeling?” She turned and walked back into the lounge.

“Not great.”

“It’s very tidy, doesn’t really look like anything has moved. How long did it take you to clean up?”

“Umm I did it the same day.”

“Couldn’t let it sit huh.”

She signed and looked around. “No. I just wanted to get rid of all traces that they’d been here.”

“Yeah I get that. So how have you been? Any problems?”

She sat down and started picking at her nails. She didn’t want to look at Rani. “Yeah well things haven’t been great.”

“Oh dear.”

She looked about her and though she could see several things were out of place she assumed that Rani really wouldn’t know the difference. “You know I don’t like mess. It’ drives me nuts.”

She smiled. “Yes I do and it’s nice to see that despite that it’s not immaculate in here. I think I’d worry if it was. Not a good sign.”

She smiled. Yes Rani was right if she really weren’t doing very well then everything would have to be lined up perfectly just how she wanted it and nothing would be allowed to be out of place. Yes she knew her well enough to know this was actually a good thing. “Yeah sorry.”

“Don’t be, so how are things otherwise. Any problems?”

“Yeah well Andrea’s been ‘round a bit and I think one or two others too. I’ve had a few night sweats and nightmares and such but relatively it’s not changed much since last time. I’m still sluggish and feeling a bit dopey.”

“What since this happened.”

“Yeah she turned up just after I saw the police outside.”

Rani reached into her briefcase and pulled out a file. “Umm so can you tell how many times you’ve seen things?”

“Not much really but certainly more than I have been doing for a while.” She grimaced and twisted her fingers. This was torture but if she didn’t tell her what was going on then she couldn’t get any help.

She’d been assigned Rani a year ago and it had taken time to build a rappor. She was lovely really; attentive and understanding but her accent was a little soft around the edges in places that had made her difficult to understand and it grated, almost stereotypically so but then maybe it was her choice of clothing that was the problem. It was strange but the one time that she hadn’t worn something obviously ethnic it had felt easier to talk to her. So much for not being prejudiced but it had just been easier. The fact was you didn’t really get a choice of county psychiatric nurse you just had to live with the one you were given. The mental health team had always said it was possible to change but somehow it had never actually come off, so when she met Rani and not really gotten on with her she’d just persevered and it had paid off. When things had gotten rough a while back she’d really stood up and done her job well, gotten her the care she needed when she needed it, something that seemed to be rare or maybe she’d just been lucky. Either way when it had counted Rani had come through and that was all that mattered, but she couldn’t do anything if she didn’t say what was going on. “Yeah. I don’t think there’s been too much.”

“And you’re taking your meds regularly?”

She nodded. “Yup.”

“Eating, sleeping, exercising..?”

She nodded. “Yes for the most part. I mean I still don’t sleep too well; have to have the light on and wake up a bit too, but mostly it’s all good.” She paused. Was there anything else to say? “Yeah been keeping to my routine, up every day and out for a run and such.”

“Been to work?”

She nodded. “Yeah was there yesterday.”

“And have you thought any more about therapy?”

She looked down. Oh yeah she’d thought about it and then tried not to.

Rani looked over at her. “Umm and...”

“Well I just don’t know. It’s a good idea I guess. It’s just I don’t know. Anxiety management with a whole group of people. I don’t know”

Rani rested the file in her lap and looked at her intently. “Well it does seem like your anxiety is more the problem right now.”

She squirmed in the seat.

“It would help you get back out into the world and you can’t carry on as you have been doing can you?”

No she couldn’t, but group therapy even if it was just a management course and not the whole psychotherapy thing it was a bit overwhelming.

She leaned towards her. “You can do this and it’ll make the rest of your life easier but it is up to you.” She paused. “Look the course doesn’t start for another month so what if I put you name down and then if you change your mind just let me know.”

Kate sighed, she knew this was a good move for her but it was still a problem, she just didn’t want to do it. “Okay.”

She smiled. “Okay you’ll do it.”

Kate looked at her pleased face. Why did everyone look so damn pleased when she agreed to do something that scared the hell out of her. She paused unsure. “Yes, okay I’ll do it.”

Rani slapped her hands on the file definitively. “Good. Now is there anything else going on you need to tell me?”

She shrugged and shook her head. “No I don’t think so.”

“So you said the police had found most of the stuff that was taken.” She paused.

She smiled and shrugged.

“Well that’s good and there doesn’t seem to be too much damage. The TV I see.”

“Yeah, not sure how I’m going to replace that.”

“Well at least they didn’t take your bike so you can still get about.”

She smiled and looked over at the bike. “No they did.”

Rani frowned and looked over to the bike leaning against the wall.

“That’s not mine. It’s just borrowed.”

“Oh right, how’d that happen? A friend of yours?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I have time.” Rani was sat still, looking at her.

“Just the copper who came here for the burglary.”

Rani raised an eyebrow. “The copper?”

“Him and his partner were called here and then when I went into the station he saw me and we got talking. He just offered it to me until mine was done with, didn’t want me walking home on my own in the dark and cold.” She smiled hoping that would suffice.

“That was nice of him. So will you be seeing him again?”

“Well yeah when I give the bike back.”

Ranis’ mouth quivered. “I meant, will you be getting to know him besides the loan of the bike?”

Kate rubbed her forehead. “Shouldn’t think so, I just borrowed his bike that’s all.”

Rani smiled. “Humm. So have you given any more thought to getting out more joining a club or doing some classes?”

She looked at the floor. “Yes and no...I don’t know, what would I do?”

Rani shrugged. “Anything you like. What are you interested in? What about your drawing. You could take class, meet a few people? The local college runs several and you could get some help with the fees.”

She frowned and twisted her fingers.

“Look why don’t I leave you the prospectus and you have a look. If something takes your fancy.” She pulled a pamphlet from her briefcase and put it on the sofa next to her. “Just take a look.” She patted it.

“Sure.”

She smiled. “So how is work? Are you still enjoying it?”

She shrugged. “It’s not bad.”

“Not bad huh. Seems your life is fun of not bad at the moment.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Oh well if there’s nothing you want to say.” She paused. Shook her head. “Nothing, right well that’s me done.” She picked up her briefcase. “Well I guess I’ll be off then and you look after yourself. You know where I am if you need anything.”

She nodded. “Yup, gotcha.” She showed her to the door.

“So is the landlord going to fix this?” She pointed at the wood panel.

“Yeah so he says but it’s anybodys’ guess when.”

She smiled. “Well maybe he’ll be quick. You’re looking good by the way, you have a good colour in your face.”

She looked at the floor. “Thanks.”

“So see you in two weeks then.”