Torn apart

I guess more than many I have doubted the reality in which I find myself.. never really sure what is or isn't real and the hallucinations made it much worse but still despite or maybe because of their brevity of duration I find myself doubting that I have heard or seen what is really happening around me. For how can anyone really be sure that what they perceive is there, actually is, because as we all know people lie, are not very observant and are in many ways completely unaware of what they themselves are doing.Torn apart is about how the doubt, about how what can be appearing to be anything other than reality.

Torn apart

The world seems fractured, broken, showing opposing views

but what is real, there is no sign they segue together

yet so different. The brutal and the loving milliseconds apart

to blink and everything is changed.

A flickering milieu of human nature in a single breath;

To see, to hear, to feel at once what is, what was and what could be.

At odds they tear me apart, desperate, despairing, lonely yet happy, hopeful, at peace

people caring for each other and so cruel as well.

It contradicts and overlaps not one thing or the other.

A waking dream of fitful sleep, with cries of fear

that are uttered but not heard, where tears have flowed

and the rivulets are unnoticed, unfelt and left to dry

Where limbs that move too much and ache are not given rest;

For though the pain is felt the reason is not known

But what to do, for did the person really mean the words that were heard

And was resentment seen where only kindness was meant

Was that flicker really there or am I sleeping still.

Will I wake and find that life is not this hell that I am living in.