Know thy self

There are times when I consider where I have gotten too and how it might have been different had my life not been what it has. I think most people could say the same although I can see that many may not have so much they may wish to change. I guess the thing is that we carry on with life when we're young not really considering things or considering them too much and it can lead to a sense that we don't really know ourselves at all well. That we are in fact very far from where we might want to be in terms of careers or family/relationships and not really have any idea how it happened. Maybe you haven't but I certainly have. So this one is about feeling completely divorced from who we really are and how it can lead to not choosing to do anything with your life.


If I could only reach you
only know what you want
I could be so much more.
I could rule the world
or start a business.
I could do so much more, be so much more.

But alas I know what it is that you want
what you are passionate about.
And so I slip from one thing to the next
never really doing anything
for I fear that it will not be what you want;
not what you would like
and I fear I have failed you because
I do not know what to do.

And how to rejoin the soul that split at birth
to find a better way, far away from all that hurt
from all that demanded I be I know not what
for now I am lost not knowing you
and do not know how to change it

I feel the loss the empty space
the place of certainty that says
this is me and I am proud of her
for all of her mistakes, her missed opportunities
for all those miss steps I am who I am
and I am still proud of her
but oh how I wish I knew who that was