Carried away

There are moments when things seems less stable than before and external stimuli cause big internal battles. It is at these moments that i feel carried away. I seem to zone out as I try to cope with what is going on in side of me and lose track of the world. Some would say a panic attack but it is never that simple.

Carried Away

In that split second after, I am paralysed

and washed away from the present.

Now just flashes of light, snippets of sound, the odd word

and anger, despair, resentment and pain.

Weightless buffeted and bashed

I tumble headlong uncontrolled without falling

confused by a dizzying assault on my senses.

Panicked and scared I try to understand what’s around me

I cannot keep up, I cannot even pretend as I spiral out of control

I know not where or what is going to happen.

It changes so fast without stimulus;

I am lost yet some things still seem known

The turmoil it drags at me, pulling in all directions

I feel the impending loss of cohesion and will it to happen.

Escaping the friction and strife that connects me

then each part would be free to be as it wants

The balance is tipped I am free

yet still I am here not calm and serene but alive

I know not how or why this world has pulled me apart

nor how I still live but I am here.